The only reason to smile
by kjuo
Summary: This year Luka made sure Miku had a reason to celebrate Christmas. A short, christmas-themed negitoro story.


**_A/N: TW: mentions of homophobia_**

**_I wanted to wish you all Merry Christmas. May this time bring you joy and happiness. And may you all have your own reasons to smile!_**  
**_This story was betareaded by Aira and Shakly, my amazing friends. Thank you again!_ **

* * *

Evenings like this aren't dark.

They shine with thousands of colorful lights, decorated trees, and people's smiles. It would seem that love can be found in every corner of the city.

It was warm that evening, but people wrapped in jackets and patterned scarves hid in cinnamon-smelling houses, passing each other and nodding their heads.

Evenings like this shouldn't be lonely.

Miku waited, sitting by the windowsill and looking furtively through the frosted window at all those people rushing towards their reasons to smile. And there was also a reason for her to celebrate Christmas, it seemed to be the only one now.

The door to her house opened wide, letting in a bit of white fluffy snow and frosty air. A large green tree stood in the doorway, showing its coiled branches under a net. Lily stood behind the spruce, her lips twisting in a sour expression. She was wearing a red ugly-Christmas cap which jumped with every movement of the girl's head. Miku smiled at her old friend.

"Ho-ho-ho!" The blonde squirmed. "Help me, dear Santa, to set this Christmas tree, because these thorns will- Ouch," She took her hand off the tree with a grimace. "They've already pricked me, you know."

"Wait, I'll go get the stand and the water," Miku replied, not giving her guest time to answer. She went to the small closet, leaving Lily alone. Along the way, she heard the girl's loud sigh, to which she reacted with a soft giggle.

"I think it's standing straight."

"You sure?" Lily asked, moving away from the spruce that triumphantly towered over the living room in Miku's apartment. The tealette nodded, and Lily clapped her hands.

"Alright. Then I gotta go. Len managed with the Christmas tree himself, but I prefer not to let him into the kitchen anymore." She burst out laughing "A year ago he tried to bake a cake, I ended up buying a new stove."

"Wish him Merry Christmas from me, please."

"Sure thing. I wish you Merry Christmas too, Miku. Be happy because you deserve it." Lily patted her shoulder and walked toward the door. "Hand on my wishes to Luka too." She added, leaving. "Take care."

Miku waved at her, thanking her and smiling nervously. Who would she hand her wishes to? Luka was supposed to be here, but she wasn't. She didn't answer the phone. She didn't reply to her messages. She promised that she would spend Christmas Eve with her, that she would decorate the Christmas tree with her.

The green tree stood in the middle of her room, expecting attention from the girl. She had never decorated a Christmas tree alone before.

Miku took a shuddering breath, running her finger over the glass of a window. The clock struck seven, and the seconds lengthened more and more. It seemed like at least twenty past nine. Cursed time.

Maybe something happened to Luka?

She was selfish enough not to have thought about that before. She stood up and hurriedly put on her coat.

The first star disappeared somewhere in a cluster of a thousand others. Each of them wanted to be first. The tealette didn't even notice when the whole sky was strewn with flickering dust. White petals quietly fell to the ground.

The sounds of Christmas songs and carols were slowly beginning to fade away. She was alone. She and the snow.

Where to go, she didn't know. She could just go to Luka's apartment, but the girl had told her a few days ago that she had to do some things before meeting up with Miku. Now, she wished she had asked what things she'd meant. When she was about to go back, not knowing what to do, someone grabbed her by the shoulders. She knew this sweet smell of strawberries and vanilla.

"I'm sorry" was the first sentence Miku heard that day from her girlfriend. Luka hugged her tightly.

She felt so warm, so pleasant. So safe. She didn't want this moment to ever end.

"I was waiting for you." Miku choked out after a couple of minutes spent in the pinkette's embrace. Without moving away from her, she put her head on Luka's shoulder. _So safe._

"I wanted to bake a cake with my mom so that we could eat it together, but it didn't work out and we tried to prepare it again, but-"

"Shh." Miku put a finger over Luka's lips. The girl blushed, which the younger girl reacted to with a smile. She could have sworn that at that moment the air between them would've been able to melt all of the snow surrounding them.

"I just missed you so much... And I was starting to worry. And what about your phone?"

Luka searched the bag for the device. After a second she pulled it out and looked at the screen, then at Miku and then at the screen again. 12 missed calls, 7 messages, the last one of them ending with the words "I'll come looking for you, it's getting colder." Miku lowered her head and looked at her own shoes. A soft blush arose on her face.

"Where did you want to go?" Luka asked, adjusting her girlfriend's falling scarf. Miku shrugged in confusion. She felt like a child caught stealing sweets, but Luka didn't look angry. She was smiling warmly.

"Maybe to your house... I know you weren't there, but still..."

"I'm here. I'm sorry I made you worry, sweetheart. Can we go inside?"

Miku, without saying anything, opened the door. She was starting to panic far too soon. She breathed a sigh of relief that everything ended well and Luka was fine. She was just late. It happens to everyone, right?

"Would you like some tea? Or coffee?"

"I would like tea, please."

Miku nodded contentedly and headed towards the kitchen. Only now did she understand how much she missed Luka. She missed her presence, her blue eyes, her long hair the color of blooming cherry blossoms. She hadn't seen her for a week and that duration of time was enough for her to truly desire her.

"Miku?"

The girl turned around, carrying two matching cups in her hand. They both had pictures that looked like they were drawn by a child - on one of them there was a spring onion and on the other a smiling tuna.

"Oh, you still have these cups from me! Say, these drawings came out pretty good, don't you think?" Luka laughed.

She sat next to Miku on the sofa. The younger girl moved closer to her, placing her cocoa on the table in front of them. Even the unfortunate Christmas tree, or rather the tree that would soon become one, stopped disturbing her. At this time in her family home, she always sat by the fireplace and watched the flickering lights reflected on its glass. Her parents bustled around the house every year, making a lot of noise. Mom baked the last gingerbreads. Dad played with her little cousin.

Today... Today it was quiet. She could only feel the warm breath of her girlfriend on her shoulder.

"We'll decorate it tomorrow, right?" Luka asked, pointing at the tree.

Miku nodded lazily, torn from her thoughts.

"You miss them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your parents... You miss them, right?" The pinkette asked in a calm voice. Luka saw it. The spark in the younger girl's gaze disappeared every time she caught her daydreaming. She knew her too well not to know that she would like to spend this time with her family. Miku bit her lip, lowering her head.

"I miss them..." She whispered. "But it's not like I feel bad about spending Christmas with you here. I just never... I've never been... alone before."

Luka hugged her, gently stroking her back. Miku trembled, suppressing a quiet cry. She couldn't understand why her parents had thrown her out of her own home.

Does the person she loves... Does that person being a woman change anything?

"You'll never be alone again."

The girl buried her face in Luka's hair and firmly grabbed her blouse as if afraid that she would leave her too. The pink-haired girl wiped a few salty drops from Miku's cheeks and brushed her forehead with her lips.

"I believe your parents will understand their mistake. They just need time." She said slowly, looking at Miku's glazed eyes. "In the end, they managed to raise such a wonderful person like you. I'm sure they want the best for you, even if they don't quite realize that what they are doing is hurting you so much."

Miku looked at the steam escaping from the drink standing next to her for a moment.

"I wonder what they are doing. Do they also think about me... I wonder if..." She laughed softly "...if my mother is as preoccupied as usual, every year she is so distracted that everything falls apart."

She ran her hand through Luka's hair, trying to stay calm.

"But I'm fine here. Here, being with you. I've never been better in my whole life. I can stand it if it lets me spend this Christmas with you."

"Miku..." Luka swallowed, trying to gather words she wanted to say to the girl she cared about most in the world. Every time she wanted to say anything valuable in such a situation, she felt a force that prevented her from doing so. Miku was waiting for any action. Luka's hands were slippery with sweat.

The younger girl sat on her lap, looking straight into her eyes. She wrapped her small arms around her neck. Luka had the feeling that in a moment she forgot how to breathe.

"You don't have to say anything." The tealette whispered in her ear. "I like it when your gaze says more than any words could."

The centimeters that separated them a few seconds ago ceased to matter. The opinions of others had ceased to matter. What was happening here and now mattered. And for Miku only the fact, that she was holding the woman she loved mattered.

Miku left her sweet lip gloss, longing and lust on her lips. Luka closed her eyes and lost herself completely at the moment. It was everything. She needed nothing more. She put her arms around Miku's waist and brushed her long hair away from her face. She could feel her irregular breathing on her neck.

They remained in this state for several minutes, in soothing silence and mutual presence, before Luka interrupted her by getting up from the sofa.

"I have something for you." She said, pulling a small gold box out of her coat pocket. "Merry Christmas, darling."

Miku tilted her head curiously. On the packaging, there was a small white bow and a decorative inscription: "For Miku". She opened the lid carefully. In the center, there laid a small pillow with a golden ring adorned with a blue-green eye. The girl put it on her finger and examined it from all sides, sighing with delight.

"As soon as I saw it, I knew it would look perfect on you."

"Luka... It's more than beautiful." Miku said after a moment. "I will wear it everywhere from today on! And you know, it looks a bit like a proposal." She lowered her voice with that last sentence.

"If you want, you can treat it as a proposal, although I must admit that for this occasion I was preparing something better." The pinkette smirked, watching Miku's reaction. Her face beamed with happiness as she literally threw herself on her girlfriend's neck.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything." Miku said in a muffled voice. "And it may not look as beautiful as this ring, but I have also prepared something for you." she added, leaving the room. She returned after a moment, holding a large plush tuna with a pink bow on its head. Luka covered her mouth, trying not to laugh.

"Don't say you made it yourself!"

"Of course I did!" Miku replied proudly. "This sewing machine I bought recently just couldn't have been wasted."

"Oh man... it's absolutely wonderful. I don't know what to say."

"You can just say if you like it. If not, I still have some pink material and-"

"I love it!" Luka replied, hugging the plushie. "I will sleep with it every night."

"Honestly, I'd rather you sleep with me, but well, the fish can sleep next to us," Miku said, putting on a dead serious face. Luka couldn't hold it in and laughed out loud, hugging the girl.

Their moment of closeness was interrupted by a telephone ringing from the corridor. Luka rolled her eyes.

"It's yours?" Miku asked softly.

"Yeah, I'll be back in a moment."

Miku laid down on the sofa and couldn't help listening to the bits of the conversation reaching her from the corridor. She heard, among the noise, an enthusiastic "I am so happy that you changed your mind!" and a hopeful "I will try not to disappoint you." Miku was almost sure that her boss had called Luka from her work. Even on holidays, they didn't give her a rest. The girl rolled over and let out a low murmur of discouragement. It seemed, however, that her girlfriend was in a great mood. She entered the room smiling brightly and sat down next to Miku, who was looking at her uncertainly.

"So... the work, again?"

Luka shook her head, beaming.

"Your parents called me and they want us to visit them next week!" She said, unable to control the positive emotions that were tugging at her. Miku immediately jumped up from the sofa and took her hand.

"What did they say? They want to see us? Together? And where did they get your number from, why didn't they call me?"

"Yes, they want to see us together. I have no idea where they got my number from... But it's great that they want us to be there, right?"

Tears gathered in the corners of Miku's eyes.

Just a few weeks ago, her parents said things that no one should hear, especially not their own daughter. Today, however, they called not her, but her girlfriend. The person whom they assured they hated with all their might. Luka didn't know everything. Miku kept the worst words she had heard from her parents' lips to herself. She didn't know if she wanted to and if she had the power within herself to go there as if those thingsi had never happened. She didn't know if she was ready to do that.

She felt a hand wiping away tears running down her cheeks. _She definitely wasn't ready for that._

"They're your parents. Even if they did what they did, they are still people who love you. They made a mistake, they know it. Now they want to fix it, but it's up to you to let them do so."

"Do people who love you do_ this_? Do they allow you to spend the night at the station after they tell you that you are a whore who has no right to cross the borders of their house?" She hissed through sobbing.

"They said that out of emotion." The woman replied gently, stroking Miku's head. "You don't think they really meant it?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."

It was snowing outside again. This time, it was stronger and the rhythmic sound of falling snow drowned out the silence in the apartment. Miku looked at the winter scenery, drinking her long-cold cocoa drink. Luka was sleeping peacefully on her lap, holding the stuffed tuna. Miku played with her hair, braiding some locks on her fingers.

Evenings like this shouldn't be lonely.

It wasn't her dream Christmas evening, despite being with the person she loved. She sincerely hoped that her parents loved her too, despite everything, just as she tried to love them. Words are still just words, and maybe Luka was actually right. Maybe they did really regret them. Maybe they do want to change what they did, although they know it's impossible.

Between the lazily falling snow, in the night sky fell one small star.

Only a child noticed it, closely watching the sky with his mother. Miku looked at them through the window before her and the little boy's eyes met. The boy smiled tenderly at her. Miku had the impression that his smile could cheer up even the most bitter man.

Eventually, on evenings like this, it's said that people's hearts open.

And that's how Miku wanted to imagine the magic of Christmas.


End file.
